Thursday, July 13, 2006

Letters From Home Vol. 4

Dear Policeman-
I understand that waiving your arms around directing traffic is a very demanding job. But here is a tip for you; your job is to prevent traffic back-ups. NOT cause them. Seriously after sitting in traffic for 15 minutes the last thing I want to see are you molars as you yawn. Once again thank you for making me late. By the way on the days you are not around. . .NO traffic. Go Figure!
Late for work,

Note to self:
DO NOT take on any more odd jobs. You can barely keep up with the ones you already have dumb ass!!
Smacking you upside the head:

Dear Driver of the Silver Chevy Malibu-
I know you are old & you enjoy your afternoon drives. Here’s the thing you do, I don’t. The speed limit on Route 12 is 50 MPH NOT 30!! Please try to follow the posted signs.
Trying not to honk at you,

Was it something I said? Honestly I didn’t mean it. Please give me another chance! I promise I will change.
Missing Sunshine,

Dear Bicycle People,
YOU SUCK!! You and your Share the road stickers can go to hell; in a wicker bicycle basket. I bike 4-8 miles everyday 9 months out of the year with a dog & manage to follow the rules of the road. I do not ride in the middle of the road, ride 4 across the road making it impossible for a car to get by or swerve into traffic making it impossible for cars to go around you. Do you see how all of those things are a problem?
I have decided I will share when you do!
Hogging the Road,

Dear Co-Worker that backs into parking spaces-
Dude, STOP! IT! Or learn how to back in into ONE spot. Seriously NOTHING is more irritating than seeing what you think is an empty space only to be FOILED by your inept parking job. Backing inbetween ANY 2 yellow lines does not a good parking job make. I plan on taking up a collection to send you back to drivers ed.
Thinking about deflating all of your tires,


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